Ashley knows that when a person is old, he/she would eventually go to heaven. Lately she has been asking me if I would be in heaven when she’s an adult. I said maybe. Then she started sobbing. She said she doesn’t want me to go to heaven because she won’t get to see me anymore. I told her that she can still see me in her dreams when the time comes but she doesn’t want that. Then she asked who is going to take care of her, who is going to cook her food, etc 😀 It was kinda funny how she put it. I said by then she is already an adult and would know how to take care of herself. She couldn’t accept it and started crying more 🙁 Every night before she goes to bed, she would ask me the same thing….if I will be heaven when she is older. My poor girl.
How do you explain this to your children? How do you provide comforting answers?
Thankfully we have never experienced death in a close family member since the kids were born so never had to explain.
The similar question my April asked me before when she was 6 years old also. Even now, on and off she would say, ” I hope we won’t die, all of us won’t die.” I just say to her, “Be good, and all of us will meet each other again in Heaven.”
That shows how close both of you are. Death due to old age doesn’t seem to bother my boy too much as he says he’ll always have daddy, yeh yeh, mah mah and the list goes on should I go to heaven one day. Weird though he is worried sick about me getting old. Hahaha..
Oh this is a tough question! But I think she’ll understand when she eventually grows up ^^
now my kids are older, they know.. when young, i dont remember telling them.. did i or did i not.. really cannot recall.. but then it is easy.. just tell them you are in heaven looking down at them.. 🙂
I remember vividly that one day when I told my girl she is a big girl now, she replied, ” When I’m big, you’ll be old and soon DIE!” and when I asked her what if I died, she said it’s NOT A PROBLEM, she still have papa, Ah Gong and Ah Po, how cruel hor?!
Well, when time comes, they will know….
My girl too asked me, “When I’m big, you’ll turn old and die, right?” I told her that when she grows up, I may or may not be around because it’s a cycle of life and everyone who is old will eventually die.
Tough question, though! I’m not well prepared with answers yet.
Having attended 2 funerals last month in Ipoh (one for my grandma and another close uncle), questions from the boys were endless. Somehow they kept asking abt why ppl need to die, where they went, why ppl are crying, why wear red (for my grandma’s funeral) and then white (for uncle’s), etc etc. They didn’t ask abt our death though, well at least not directly….but I guess they’ll understand when the time comes….
sorry to hear about the death of your grandma and uncle. i saw your photos in FB (the ipoh house) and was wondering if you celebrated cny or not.
i still couldn’t find the right answer to tell ashley about death 🙁
hmmmmm..it is a tough question. My boys do ask me once, but they do not how exactly it go. Sometime i wonder they know what is die/dead. They ask who is going to put the person in the “box” – coffin when the person is dead. They roughly know because they follow us go to “ching ming”.
The same thing happened to Alycia and Sherilyn. They just can’t accept death – their own and mine. Each time we touch on this topic, they will be in tears :S
Poor Ashley. 🙁 I have no idea how to tackle this question.
for me, so happened there have been 4 deaths in my family since RL was born. so when she got to learn about it, she was obviously upset especially knowing that i would go before her. at one stage, she would cry about it and i’ve always brushed it aside by telling her it’s a long long time more that i would die so no need to worry now. and she has somehow accepted that.
with the recent death of fil, her fears came back again and this time she said she is scared to die. i told her that i was also like her before but now i’m not so scared as when my turn comes, i will have my grandma and grandpa to welcome me in heaven. so when her turn comes, she would have her kong-kong, me and her papa too. so it’s not that scary at all and she has also accepted this.
dunno how HL will take it when her time to understand death comes. as for now, she only knows her kong-kong is in heaven and heaven is up there in the sky.
sorry to be so cheong hei. if can be avoided, death should not be talked about so often if you asked me. but when you cannot avoid it, you just need to ensure it’s not a scary thing to them.